Never Say Goodbye
by crazycarly
Summary: Ashton Kingsley is anything but ordinary. She is best friends with James Potter, ex girl friend to Sirius Black, chaser for Gryffindor, and daughter of the old lead guitarist for the Brother Grimm.  She is one of a kind.
1. Prologue

**Prologue: **

It was the first day of September and many students had rejoined the halls of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, but there were also many new arrivals to its corridors.

The first years stood nervously outside the Great Hall's giant doorway awaiting Professor Flitwick's arrival. He would escort them into the hallway and then their first glimpses of the enchanted ceiling would commence. Some of them passed the time chatting with their new found friends, while others stood quietly in the back and awaited their fate.

There was one boy who seemed quite boisterous in the fact that he would be sorted into Gryffindor, and that was the house to be in. He possessed unruly jet black hair and hazel eyes behind a pair of round-rimmed glasses. He had three other companions with him although they were a lot less verbal with their thoughts on the sorting. One had shaggy black hair framing his face that bore astonishing grey eyes. Another companion of his wore less appealing clothes, and donned shorter brown hair which appealed to his bright blue-green eyes. He seemed uncomfortable with his new friend's higher ego, but for some unknown reason he stood by them instead of shrinking back towards the shadows. The last of their companions was a much shorter and stockier boy. His hair was much lighter than any others, being a dirty blonde, and his eyes were constantly a watery glass colored blue. He seemed quite happy with his new found friends, and watched them like they were glamorous celebrities.

Not to many minutes later the Charms professor returned to escort them into the Great Hall, and the sorting would begin. They all proceeded after him, once the great doors were open, and went into the hall. Professor Flitwick picked up the ragged, old hat, and explained the process of Sorting, "I will call each of you by your last name, you will come forward, I will place the Sorting hat on your head, and it will choose the House you will spend the rest of your years here at Hogwarts in. Remember, the house you get will be your family, and strongest comrades in the years to come."

The boisterous boy from before elbowed his first companion in the side, "Cross your fingers, and hope for Gryffindor," he said. His companion looked down, shuffling his feet. "Good luck."

Professor Flitwick began calling off the names from the list.

"Oh come on now, Sirius." said the first boy. "Just because your family members are all loathsome Slytherin gits does not mean you are. I might not know you very well, but I will not let you let yourself become something just because you think that is where you belong. I can tell you don't want to be a Slytherin in the first place."

Professor Flitwick started to call last names that started in the letter b off of his list.

"Well my moment of truth is coming up," said the one called Sirius.

He started to proceed towards the front of the group of first years facing the sorting hat.

"Black, Sirius." called Professor Flitwick. The whole Slytherin table shifted their attention towards the sorting hat.

Sirius turned back and waved at his friends, smiling before he stepped up to the sorting hat stool. The Slytherins were still watching him intently, but he didn't care. He was going to change his fate.

The hat seemed to take an extra long time deciphering Sirius' house. Especially since all the other Blacks that had been sorted took little to no time. The only other one that took this much time, was Andromeda Black, but she ended up being a Slytherin anyway. The crowd began to grow restless, and impatient. The hall began to fill with quiet conversations, as they awaited the decision.

After several long minutes the hat finally made its conclusion. "GRYFFINDOR!" it called out to the occupants of the Great Hall.

The room became silent in an instant. Even the house elves kitchen ware could be heard coming to a crash. The Slytherin table glared at this strange member of the Black family.

Sirius stood up proudly, and confidently. Not a question in his mind on whether the sorting hat chose correctly or not. He looked down towards where his companion stood, and smiled a simple smile. He looked the same Sirius did. Not a change in his facial expression. He had truly believe Sirius would be placed in the house Sirius truly belonged, and he knew that house to be Gryffindor.

As Sirius made his way to the Gryffindor table, he passed the Slytherins. Each one of them stared at him. One particular house mate of theirs glared at him reproachfully, but the girl sitting next to her smiled approvingly at him.

He nodded toward them. "Sorry Bella," he plainly stated. "Goodbye Dromeda." They both continued to watch him. He glanced back at them one more time, smiling.

Back at the group of unsorted students, James, and his other friends stood awaiting their turns.

"That was nice of you," said a voice from behind James.

He quickly spun around to see who had said it, and found a girl smiling at him. She wore long wavy blonde hair, and chocolate brown eyes.

He grinned back at her. "Aw it was nothing," he shrugged.

"Well I think it was rather sweet," she continued. A pinkish tone began to appear on his cheeks, and he looked at the ground. "Sorry, my name is Ashton Kingsley, and yours?"

She held out her hand to him, and he took it in his grasp, "James Potter." He gestured behind him towards the others, "and these are my friends Peter Pettigrew, and Remus Lupin."

"Hello," Remus and Peter both mumbled in reply.

"Evans, Lily." called Professor Flitwick.

"Hey that's the girl from the train," Remus recalled.

James turned to look at what Remus was looking towards, and his breath caught in his throat. His facial expression began to partake in a rather dreamy state, and he stood and stared at this poor nervous girl.

"You alright?" asked Peter.

"Lily," James breathed. "Lily Evans."

"Yes, that is the girls names," continued Ashton.

"I'm going to marry that one," James said in his dreamy disposition.

"Right," said Remus. "And does she know about this engagement?"

James didn't answer his questions, because his mind was in another place all together. He continued to fixate his whole attention on this one being.

"GRYFFINDOR!" yelled the sorting hat, and the Gryffindor table erupted in cheers for their new classmate.

James came out of his stupor, and focused his attention back on his new group of friends.

"Do i know how to pick 'em or what?" he said, grinning broadly.

"WOW," stated Ashton turning her body the other way, trying to hide her laughter.

Remus grabbed her arm, and grinned at her. "Hope you don't scare that easily," he said.

"No way," she smiled at him, and turned back to their group.

Eventually the whole group of students that awaited the sorting were put into their correct houses, and the hall was commenced in joyous reunions and meetings. The Gryffindor Table held much laughter, and conversations including that of James, Sirius, Remus, Peter, and Ashton.

"Glad you made it Ash," said a new voice from behind Ashton's head. She looked up to see her older sister standing behind her. She jumped up and gave her quick hug.

"Anne!" she exclaimed. "You don't know how much I wanted to be in Gryffindor. I'm so happy I made it."

"Oh, I think I have an idea," Anne said. She turned her attention toward the other newcomers sitting with Ashton. "Welcome to the family of Godric Gryffindor. Home of Lion hearted." She grinned at them. "And if I do say so myself. Killers of the Snake. We play a right good game of Quidditch." She continued to grin a them for a few seconds, but then her mood changed. "Oh, I'm sorry," she looked towards Sirius. " I didn't mean to offend you in any way. I'm just a little competitive."

"It's okay," he told her. "I'm sure my family members could care less if I defended them right about now."

"Well, I'm Anne Kingsley. If you need anything, and don't want to ask any of those stuck up little prefects, I'm always available for Ashton or her friends."

Ashton gave her another quick hug before Anne proceeded back towards her end of the table.

"Anne and Ashton Kingsley." whispered James under his breath.

"Excuse me?" asked Ashton.

"Well, I'm pretty sure I've heard the names before. I just don't know were." he continued to ponder the names.

Ashton disregarded this, and started to talk to the others. "How long do you think it is before James finds out he is utterly crazy, and that Lily Evans probably thinks the same?"

"Oh, she already does think that of him," said Remus. "The train ride was quite interesting."

"I'd love to hear more about this," she said.

"I KNOW!" exclaimed James. "You're Mark Kingsley's daughter!"

"THE Mark Kingsley?" asked Peter.

"No way!" stammered Remus.

Ashton sat silently looking around at their shocked faces. She clearly didn't like all the attention.

"Whose Mark Kingsley?" asked Sirius. He glanced at her, and grinned before he looked back at their new shocked faces.

"WHOSE MARK KINGSLEY!" exclaimed James, "for the love of Merlin." James began to shake his head, and stare at the table muttering something inaudible under his breath.

"He's only the only seeker in history to catch the snitch only 2 minutes into the game," said Peter.

Ashton mouthed the words, "Thank you," towards Sirius while the others were not looking. He nodded his head in welcome.

Later, after the beginning of term feast the five new Gryffindors trudged their ways up stairs after the rest of their house, and it's prefects.

"You know what you guys," said Ashton. "I think these next seven years are going to be the ones to remember."

"Agreed," stated Remus.

"These next six years might not, but I know our seventh will," said James. "There will be no rules, and no one can stand in our way."

"That will be the year to remember," said Sirius.

"If you want no rules James, maybe you should wait 'till you get out of Hogwarts," said Remus.

"We got a long road ahead," finished Peter.

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**Authors Note****:** _I hope you liked it. I'll be updating as regularly as my busy schedule allows. Please leave a review, that way i know if i need to make changes, or improve my writing. Or just letting me know you liked the story. Anything is greatly appreciated. Thank you. :)_


	2. Chapter 1: Moving On

**Authors Note: **_This is six years later_

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**Moving On: **

I was asleep comfortably wrapped up in my blankets when my slumber was erupted abruptly. James had taken it upon himself to wake me up earlier than I had expected. He opened up my curtains, and let in the unwanted light. My room was emitted in bright sunshine, and my head instantly, by instinct went underneath my pillows.

"Wake up sleeping beauty," said James. He jumped onto my bed, and started to tear my blankets away from me.

"Noooo," I moaned.

"Come on!" said James. "You can't sleep all day."

He continued to take my blankets away from me, and throw them on the floor. All I had left was my pillow, and I was not going to let that go easily. James took on a new method of waking me upon himself. He climbed onto my bed, and started to jump on my mattress, and kick me.

That did it for me. "James! Harold! Potter!" I pronounced each of his names slowly but strongly.

He leapt from the bed, and ran towards my door. I sat up in my bed, and threw the pillow at him angrily. He turned back around, and smiled at me while he stood at my doorway. Quickly he ran out of the room laughing aloud at my anger.

I pulled myself out of bed, still upset with James for my early wake up call. I passed my sisters' rooms and found they were all already up and out of their rooms. Wearing only my purple plaid boxers and tank top I stomped down the stairs slowly after James.

I found him sitting at my mom's kitchen bar. He looked up from what he was reading to greet me. "And she's ALIVE!" he exclaimed, grinning at me.

"Shut up," I said grumpily approaching the kitchen.

"Well, I was beginning to wonder if you were alive." You've slept for about half the day."

I ignored his comment, and began to search my refrigerator.

"Where is everybody?" I asked him.

"You're parents and sisters didn't want to wait around for you to wake up so they all headed to Diagon Alley," he explained.

I slowly closed the fridge door, and turned to face him. "You mean?" I asked.

He smiled hugely, and held out his hand which held the one and only HOGWARTS LETTER! I ran over to him, and took mine from his hand.

"Did you open yours yet?" I asked excitedly.

"No," he said. "I was waiting for you."

"Okay, we'll open them together," I said.

"On three," he said.

"One," I said.

"Oh, and may the best witch or wizard win," he added.

"Two," I continued.

"Three," we said together, waving our wands over the envelope as it opened.

I closed my eyes in nervousness about what I might find in the letter.

"What the hell?" I heard James say.

My eyes flew open, and I grasped my letter. "Did I get it?" I asked him.

"I don't know," he said.

"Then what are you what the helling about?" I asked annoyed.

He didn't speak; all he did was push the letter towards me across the marble counter. I read what he handed me carefully. Then I saw It., the writing that told him the good/bad news.

I read it out loud, trying to state the grim fact that was sited in the document," We, the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry staff, are proud to inform you that you will be attending Hogwarts this year under the title of Head Boy. This is a privilege and is intended to be used only for the correct purposes, and not intended to be used for personal gains. Once again, we would like to congratulate you for this incredible achievement."

I looked up from the letter, my mouth gaping in an awed expression. He stared back at me blankly, and slowly passed me the badge from across the table. I picked it up and examined it. It wasn't a joke. It was the genuine head boy badge that I had seen many people wear throughout the years. It was meant to be a sign of authority and thought to be only the best in class that could ever wear it.

"They have got to be joking," I said, still in utter disbelief.

James stared off into space; his eyes were glazed over being he hadn't blinked an eye in several minutes.

"I mean, someone must have made a mistake," I continued. I looked at the badge still grasped in my hand. "A huge mistake," I added.

"Ashton is it so hard to believe that, maybe, quite possibly, that I could achieve something like this?" asked James. He broke into a small grin.

"James, you are a marauder," I said. "Of course there was a mistake," I added, shaking my head.

"Yeah, you're right," he said. "They probably sent that congratulation letter to me, adding the part about not using it for my own benefit just so I might get the message."

"Makes no sense to me at all," I said. "Dumbledore has some sort of plan. I can tell."

James began to laugh, "Wait 'till Sirius hears about this."

My smile quickly vanished, and I looked down at my bare feet that were against the cool marble. James stopped laughing when he saw my response. I felt a hand place itself onto mine, and I looked up to see James' eyes looking into mine. He squeezed my hand, and smiled a comforting smile toward me. "It'll be all right Ash," he mumbled, putting his arms around me for a sympathetic embrace.

"Thanks," I answered him as he let me out of his enclosure, and ruffled my hair playfully.

"So who did win our little competition," he asked me.

"Don't say competition. It makes it sound so competitive," I told him.

"Well, it is competitive Ashton," he said while he searched his letter.

I picked up mine, and began to look through mine too. It listed the books and items that were to be bought this year. The house notifications and each class syllabuses were also listed. I scanned through all that, and continued to search for what I wanted. Not finding it, I looked up at James. His eyes were still deciphering the letter. Suddenly, his eyes brightened immensely. That is when I knew what had been decided. It was out of my hands then.

He looked up, smiling brightly and clearly very happy with himself. Then he saw my expression. "Aww, I'm sorry Ash," he told me.

"It's okay," I said. "Congratulations," I added.

"Thanks," he said, smiling proudly as he handed me the short note from Professor Ramsey. It told him that he had been chosen to be Gryffindor Quidditch Captain for the year.

"I guess the team could only handle one Kingsley as the captain in a lifetime," I said.

"We are going to miss Anne, aren't we?" he asked. "Her and her awesome catches, we won't find another Keeper like her, are we?"

"I know, I'm going to miss her," I said. "It's going to be a lot different with out my big sister there to always have my back."

"Well, you always have you're big brother," James said smiling again.

"You know you really aren't that much older than me," I explained.

"Still counts," he muttered getting up from the kitchen breakfast bar. He stretched his arms out above his head and popped his back. "Well Ashton, I do love hanging around the house with you, but you're going to have to clean yourself up a bit."

I pushed him away from me, and walked back over to the bottom of the stairs. "See you in a minute?" I asked.

"Yeah, I'll be over at my house I think," he said as he exited my kitchen sliding door.

I quickly jogged up my stairs and went into my bathroom across from my bedroom. I grabbed my towel, and adjusted the shower water temperature. Stripping down my clothes, I stepped into my shower shivering from the touch of the cold water.

After I had gotten dressed and towel dried my hair I quickly brushed my teeth, and ran down the stairs. No one was around the house even now, and I took advantage of this, and ran out the door without the unnecessary questioning from my mother. I walked out my kitchen door, and slid it closed behind me. I walked across my mom's yard, and approached the fence. I found it in no time at all, the broken piece of picket fence that made it easy for me to sneak out the back. I ducked under and went through the broken part. It was beginning to get a little to small for me, but I made my way through it. I found myself in the very familiar path that was between the fences I had discovered so many years ago with James. I turned to my left and kept walking, ducking down or jumping over every few seconds to avoid obstacles in the path. Then I saw our mark. James and I had carved an arrow pointing down towards another broken picket in the fence line. I climbed through, and I found myself in James' backyard.

I had no more than took a couple steps toward his back porch, when Max, his chocolate lab, bounded out towards me.

"Hey buddy," I said laughing as he jumped on to me. He knocked me down in the process, and began to lick my face.

"Maximus!" yelled James. Max instantly got up, and ran whimpering towards James.

I sat up, still sitting in the grass. He stepped down his porch, and strode over to me carrying the daily prophet. His expression was serious, and I knew that something was not right in the paper. He continued to walk over to me until he reached where I was sitting, and he dropped down to the level I was at.

"What's up?" I asked, knowing I was not going to like the answer.

"There was another attack. Only the Prophet doesn't tell what happened," he told me.

"Typical," I muttered under my breath as I scratched Max under the ears.

"Yeah, well it says here that a gas leak in a private home caused an explosion in Edinburgh that killed an amount of witches and wizards," he said.

"That's not even a good lie," I said.

"Tell me about it," he said, scanning more of the paper.

I rubbed Max's head one last time, and then pulled myself off the ground. I stretched my hand out, and James grabbed it and pulled himself up.

"What to do today?" I asked him.

"I hear the carnival is in town," said James.

"Really?" I spun around from where I was playing with the dog.

"Carnival, yes?" he asked.

"Most definitely," I stated.

We arrived at the carnival in our small town of Godrics Hallow later that night. It was something James, Sirius, and I always went to together every summer. This year it would only be James and I.

The lights were as usual, beautiful. I always loved seeing the colors whirling around as the ride, filled with people, passed us. James and I stood in line to buy the tickets, as we looked at which rides we wanted to ride or what food we wanted to eat. James pointed towards the Ferris wheel-looking thing, and said, "We are definitely riding that."

"Yes," I agreed.

We grabbed our tickets from the carnival lady who was handing them out, and rushed off to get in line for the rides. James grabbed my hand, and pulled me towards the first thing he saw that looked fun and exciting.

We rode rides after rides for an hour or two, and finally decided to take a break from it. James looked to be as if he might be sick from the spaceship, and pulled him towards the funnel cake stand. We picked a table, and shared a funnel cake.

"Look at that Ashton," said James. He pointed towards a group of people standing near the grocery store. (We were in a parking lot).

"What?" I asked.

He pointed towards the group of people again, and said "that guy over there, he's looking at you."

"Which guy?" I asked.

"Oh, look who is all concerned now?" James started to laugh.

"Am not," I disagreed. "Just curious is all."

"It's okay Ash," said James. "I'm not going to get worried about you. You are growing up."

"As much as this conversation is fun, it is now beginning to become a bit awkward," I said. "So if you don't mind," I got up from the table, brushed the crumbs off of my clothing, and threw the cardboard container, that had held the funnel cake, into the trash can nearby. "Can we stop talking about it?" I asked.

He grinned, "Why is it awkward?" he asked clearly knowing the answer to his question.

"Just stop," I leaned in towards him quickly glancing to see what the reaction of the guy who was "looking at me."

"Ashton Kingsley?" James asked. "Are you using me for your own personal gain? You know that is frowned upon; it was clearly stated in my letter from Hogwarts, remember?"

"Oh yeah," I said. "Luckily I am not Head Girl, so it does not apply towards me."

James sighed, "You should talk to the guy," he stated.

This caught me off guard, and my expression changed to confusion. "James..." I trailed off.

"Ashton, I hate to say it, but you and Sirius are over. You have got to move on." He looked at me, and he smiled comfortingly at me.

"You're right," I agreed, sitting down by him. "I'm an idiot, aren't I? I screwed it all up, and I still care about him."

James sighed heavily, and looked at me with genuine sadness. "You're not an idiot," he stated.

"Yes I am," I disagreed. "I'm the one who didn't' take the promise ring. I'm the one who was always paranoid about him cheating on me. I was the one who didn't trust him. I'm the fucking one who still cares about him, and he doesn't give a shit about me anymore because I threw all he had to offer in his face because I was scared of the commitment. When the truth is James, he's all I've ever wanted, and more, and I miss him."

"I wouldn't say all of that is true," James said.

"It's all true," I told him, placing my head in my hands.

"That's why I think you need to get back out there," he told me. "Maybe there is someone better. Clearly if you felt that bad about it at the time it wasn't meant to be."

"Okay," I sighed, and picked myself off the seat.

"Don't look now," he told me. "But fancier at 12: 00 o' clock."

I turned around to see the guy from before slowly approaching us. I took in his appearance, and noticed he had light shaggy blonde hair, slightly tanned skin, and was a bit taller than myself with a slightly built body. He wore ragged old jeans and a white t-shirt. I could tell form all this, he wasn't a shallow person; he did not care about looks or appearances. He looked back at his friends as if they had pushed him to come to talk to me. He gradually kept coming towards me. I looked behind my back to see James' reaction, and I found no one there. He must have backed away when he first saw the other guy approaching.

"Hello," said a voice from behind. I turned around to see the guy. From this point I saw more than just his appearance. Sure I saw that he carried a pair of deep brown eyes, but behind those eyes I saw that he was nervous, but still carried a slight confident air about him. "Is this seat taken?" he asked me. His lips parted, and he smiled lightly.

"No," I told him.

"I'm Tristan," he said. He took the seat across from me, "I was just wondering if you would like to come hang out with my friends and me?" he asked.

I looked over towards his friends who were all watching us intently, and I laughed. His facial expression changed to dismay as if he thought I was laughing at the offer. "I'm sorry, but you're friends are rather funny over there," I pointed towards his group.

"Oh yeah," he said. He began to laugh with me in relief. "They're really not that bad if you get to know them."

"Okay, they were beginning to scare me," I told him.

"Sorry," he apologized for his friends' behavior.

"It's okay," I said. "I don't scare easily."

He began to laugh, and say something that I did not really hear. My thoughts drifted off to those six years ago when I first met my best friends, the day we had been sorted. I remembered telling Remus that I didn't scare easily. I remembered every detail of it. They way Remus smiled, the way we all laughed at James infatuation with Lily, that really never died away, the way Sirius looked when he was scared of the sorting, the way James helped him, the way Remus felt he didn't belong with us, and the way we helped each other with their feats or fears throughout the last six years.

"Sorry, I didn't think I caught your name," Tristan said, which brought me back to earth.

"It's Ashton," I told him.

"Well, Ashton, have you considered the possibility of hanging out with me?" he asked smiling.

I paused for dramatic effect, but then ended up answering in reply, "Sure."

"Great," he said. He got up from the table. "Oh and your friend can come if you like," he added.

I turned around to see James standing behind me grinning. He walked up to me, and said, "Do you hear that? I've been invited to tag along."

"Shut up," I said punching him in the shoulder before I walked away in the direction of Tristan.

We ended up riding a few rides with them, and ended up finding an empty wheat field to go sit in. James had found one of Tristan's friends he liked. She was a tall platinum blonde, with bright blue eyes by the name of Liz. The night was ending up being a rather fun one. James was clearly having a fun time. He and Liz were sitting together sharing a bottle of fire whiskey enjoying them. I found this rather stupid of James, because the fact that fire whiskey has double effect on muggles than on wizards or witches, but she seemed to be holding up okay.

I leaned back and put my head on Tristan's shoulder sighing. From what I knew about him, I liked him, but I couldn't help but think about Sirius. Sirius was my first serious boyfriend. He was my first real friend. He was my best friend. I didn't want to think about him, but he was always there on my mind. I really wanted to think about Tristan or any other guy that came along. I wanted to move on. I took a sip from the bottle James had passed around for the others.

I looked at everybody around me. James and Liz were vigorously making out. Everybody else seemed to be enjoying themselves around us. Some were passed out, others were singing random out of character songs that sounded rather dismal coming from their hoarse voices. Why wasn't I having that sort of fun? Why couldn't I have one moment without thinking about my screw up with Sirius?

"Wanna get out of here?" whispered Tristan in my ear.

"Yes," I agreed. I looked back at James. He was clearly okay without me.

Tristan grabbed my hand, and we ran through the field. My feet were flying after his, and then they came out from under me as I fell. The world was spinning as I went down, dragging Tristan with me. We were both laughing at my clumsiness. We ended up side by side in the grass on our backs. Tristan pointed up at the stars.

"Amazing," he spoke, gesturing towards them.

"Their beautiful," I said.

We talked the rest of the night, and I slowly fell asleep lying next to him in the wheat field. We were unaware of the others, or the world around us. It was as if the world stopped on its axis, but unfortunately it didn't. We would still have to wake up the next day, and face reality.

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**Authors Note: **_Hope you liked it. It might seem a bit rough right now, but if you stick around I promise it gets better._


	3. Chapter 2: Diagon Alley

Chapter 2: Diagon Alley

My arms stretched out above my head, and I arched my back, flexing my body. I rolled over onto my side, and opened my eyes, expecting to see my bedroom walls surrounding me. But I saw something completely different. Straight ahead of me was nothing but tall wheat plants. My body flew up, carrying my head with it, giving me a severe case of whip lash. The sunlight was bright all around me, and I guessed that it must be close to mid day. I looked around to see any evidence explaining why I might be here. I saw a empty fire whisky bottle, lying close by, and then I finally realized what was lying next to me, a man, that was luckily fully clothed.

He began to move slowly, stretching himself out across the grass we had been laying on. I quietly backed away from him, scooting myself across the ground, while closely observing him. He turned his head toward me, still soundly sleeping. His blonde hair lightly draped around his tan facial features, and you could slightly see his white teeth from his sleeping smile. He seemed so nice and kind from the way he slept. I felt bad about what I was about to do, because the chances of me seeing him again were rather slim, but I picked myself up from where I was sitting, and grabbed the empty firewhisky bottle before I walked away.

I broke into a run before I got very far, realizing again how late it was. My parents were most likely looking for me by now. I looked back towards where I had woken up, and saw no trace of him, so I figured he would not see me apparate away. I disappeared quickly, still clutching the empty fire whisky bottle. I appeared in James hallway upstairs, by his bedroom. I startled his house elf, Gimpy, who had been folding blankets, and storing them in the hall closet. He dropped the sheet he had been putting away, and made a slightly audible scream.

"Oh I'm sorry," I said, coming towards him to pick the sheet off the floor.

"It's quite all right, Miss Kingsley," he said, shaking his head and refolding the sheet. "You'd think I'd be used to James, Sirius, and yourself apparating in and out of here all the time, but I'm an old house elf, who still remembers when you three were quite little and did not do that sort of magic yet."

I laughed silently at him, he sort of reminded me of an old grandparent when he talked like that. "Could you dispose of this for me?" I asked him, handing him the empty firewhisky bottle.

"I'd be happy to, Miss Kingsley," he told me as he apparated away, probably finding some far off place to hide it.

I then hurried off into James' bathroom, and began to clean myself up a bit. I grabbed the mouth wash from under the sink, and quickly rinsed my mouth out repeatedly, hoping the scent of firewhisky or whatever else I tasted in my mouth went away. I then brushed my hair out, and tied it back into a long ponytail, hoping that it looked presentable to my mum. I continued to fix my appearance, that I quickly realized was not that great, when James door swung open. I turned around, thinking I would see him, while I still had soap on my face from washing it. Instead I saw Liz, from the night before emerge from his room. I didn't surprise me like it should have, because that was typical James. She smirked at me before she slowly descended the stairs. I walked into James room, and held my hands on my hips in a disapproving sort of way. His room was rather dark, but I still saw him stretched out on the bed, underneath his covers.

"Hey Ash," he said, stretching his arms out towards the headboard, and replacing them back on the bed.

"Oh my god James," I said, while I stared at the ground, and shook my head.

"What?" he asked, smirking at my disapproval. "Can't a guy have some fun around here, without you woman questioning him every second of every day."

"I'm not even going to recognize that you said that," I told him, as I headed back towards his bathroom.

"You know you have something on your face right?" he yelled from his bedroom, clearly knowing the answer to his own question.

"Shut up, and put some clothes on," I shouted back to him.

I heard him laughing from his room, and then heard a rather loud bang come from his direction also. "Damn it,"I heard him mutter.

"I smiled, while I continued to rinse my face, silently laughing at James bad luck, or just his hangover in general. I observed myself in the mirror, before I walked back towards his room again.

"Is it safe to come in?" I asked from the hallway outside of his doorway.

"Yes," he stated.

I cautiously re-entered his room, and searched for his form. I found him in his closet, holding on to his head as if he was in pain.

"Aww, does Jamie have a headache?" I asked, making fun of his pain.

"Sshh," he held out his hand in front of his face, as if he was blocking the noise from entering his personal bubble.

"Not my fault you drank to much for yourself to handle," I smirked at him.

"He looked at me as if he was in truly utter pain and agony, and I laughed even harder on the inside. What a pansy, James could be.

"So what are we doing today?" I asked jumping onto his bed to sit down on it, until I realized what horrific events had occurred on it the night before, and I jumped off.

"I don't know," he sat down at his desk chair, while he held his head in his hands, "but could you please stop being so damn cheerful."

"Maybe you should wash your bed covers," I told him, looking at them disgustedly. i brushed myself off, like I thought that would get the disgusting feeling away from me or something.

He continued to feel sorry for himself, and hold his head in his hands.

"Seriously? You feel that bad?" I asked once I gave up on cleansing myself.

He looked up at me, and just stared.

"All right," I said. "Go take a shower, and I'll go check in with my parents. If anyone asks I spent the night here, all right" I told him.

He nodded his head, before he waved me off with his hand.

I jogged down his stairs, thinking I would possibly see his parents around, or maybe even Gimpy in the kitchen cooking. I was in a particular good mood, for spending the night in the wheat field with some guy I barely knew. Which reminds me how stupid you can be while you are under the influence, or even in the company of James Potter.

I turned the corner past the last step of the stairs, and headed towards the front door. That's when I remembered the reason I hadn't been in the best mood lately, and how rare it really was that I was happy.

Sirius Black walked in the door, carrying with him a small pack that must carry the clothes that he had taken to see Regulus with. His face was exactly how I remembered it, or even better than I remembered. His shaggy black hair hung around his head, while his grey eyes searched the room for his "adoptive" parents or James. Then they found me, standing alone on the stairs of his home, looking directly at him. I could tell he was shocked to see me. The way his expression changed from happy to be home to mixed emotions about an ex girlfriend/best friend kind of gave it away.

James' parents walked into the kitchen luckily, breaking Sirius's attention from me to them. James' mom ran up to Sirius, giving him a huge welcoming hug, and James' dad watched that all, smiling at the return of his "second son".

I wished I could do the same. I wished I could run up to him and hug him. Then tell him how much I missed him, because I really did miss him. I missed him a lot, but I could never tell him that. I blew all we ever had in a friendship or relationship. I hurt him. I was the one who acted the way I did, and said the things I did. I was the one who was blind at what I had in front of me, and I was the one who threw it all away. I was the one who would have to live with the consequences.

"How was the trip?" I heard James' dad ask Sirius, as the three gave Gimpy Sirius' bag, and walked him to the kitchen.

I didn't see Sirius look back at me, I didn't notice if he showed any sort of remorse for me; because I walked straight out the door, and into the outside sunshine, which now seemed like a way the the heavens were mocking me. Was this all powerful, supernatural being toying with my emotions for his own entertainment? Did he or she care that they hurt me? Did it know that I was standing here staring at the sky, hoping that there was a sign from someone that I would get through this okay?

Probably not, no one seemed to care about Ashton anymore. Sure James was there. James was always there. I hadn't seen Remus or Peter in a while. I didn't know what it would be like when I went back to school. Who would I hang out with? James would say he didn't want to get in between us, but we all know who he would pick in the end if he had to. Peter always followed the guys no matter what, I was never that close to him. Remus would probably be there to console me, but he would much rather stay out of it than anything. It wasn't as if I was wanting my friends to split up, and pick sides. What I wanted more than anything was to have Sirius, James, Remus, Peter, and I go back to how it always was. Hanging out without the drama that relationships caused, but how was that possible when Sirius has an ego probably as big as James', which I managed to damage "beyond repair." That's the way James put it. He also said Sirius would heal, and get back on his feet, but from what I saw in the hall, he still is not speaking to me. It's all really childish and stupid, but it's what happens with teenagers. I had always seen best friends spit apart, break ups, fights, and other things happen among teens, but I never expected it to happen to me and my friends. We were the solid ones who would never budge. I guess everyone has a weakness. Who knew mine would be Sirius Black? I sure as hell didn't.

I stepped down James front steps, and began to walk my way to my house. I never took this way, but it wasn't like I had to take the secret passage way when I had a cover story this simple. The pavement was hot against my torn up white chucks, and legs felt a little uncomfortable in the my skinny jeans. Skinny jeans in the summer were always a bad idea.

I turned the block and began to jog a little, my house had muggle vehicles in it. Which was probably not all that weird to see since we did live in a muggle community. I ran up my steps, and opened the door, quietly sneaking in before I shut the giant door behind me. No one was in my living room, but I heard talking coming from the kitchen. I ran up the stairs and into my room, shutting the door behind me. I was safe. From what though? My story was I spent the night at James', if I was caught sneaking around, my mom would surely suspect something. So I walked down the stairs, and headed towards the kitchen.

I saw my mom and my some people sipping tea, and talking. She saw me and shook her head in disapproval, but still greeted me. She probably didn't approve of my clothing or some other aspect of my appearance this morning like I had hoped.

"And who is this?" an older lady asked. She drew everyones attention toward me, and they all turned toward me too.

I stopped like a deer in the headlights, and smiled a feeble smile towards them.

"That's Ashton," my mom said, she smiled, then took a sip of her tea again before her mood went back to its original dismal self.

Her eyes stared at me, and I walked over to her, suspecting she was going to reprimand me for something again. Her guests continued to talk amongst themselves, as my mom talked to me.

"Where were you last night?" she asked.

"James'," I answered bluntly. I tried to walk away but she grabbed my hand preventing me, and I turned back to her.

"Your school supplies are in your room," she told me, "but I didn't manage to get your new robes because I had no idea what size you were, so if you could please run to Diagon Alley. I'm not going to have you run around in old robes." At that she turned back to her guests and plastered on what I could tell was a fake smile. I guessed they were probably quidditch team agents, trying to get my dad to switch teams or some other nonsense.

I walked away from them, and ran upstairs to go take a shower and get ready for Diagon Alley. As much as I hated the idea of going to Diagon Alley alone, I was actual kind of happy that I would be going alone this year. Every time I went out somewhere with the family some member of the press would find us, and bombard us in whatever we were doing. I always loved my dad's career, and I was the only one of his kids who wished to follow in his footsteps someday, but the publicity of it all annoyed everyone entirely. One time I was in a talent show. No one ever heard the end of it, because almost every news magazine had a little or big clipping of myself and an article of how proud my father must be. It really got bad when some stupid reporter made up a story of how my dad was cheating on my mom. It wasn't as if my mom believed it, but she couldn't help but get suspicious. Her being paranoid caused the whole family to go into uproar, and when my grandparents read the article it all went downhill.

Once I was done with the shower, and picked some clothes out. Settling on a pair of jean shorts and a dark blue t-shirt with some white lettering on the back and front. I pulled my clothes on, and pulled out my wand to dry my hair rapidly. I felt it go dry, and I touched it to make sure. I combed through the knots, and smoothed it out. Once my hair was out of the way, I grabbed my white chucks again.

I ran down the stairs, skipping a couple steps as I went. I sat down on one of the ottomans for a chair, and pulled on my socks and shoes. Then I was out the door, and running back to James, forgetting that he was probably still in the shower.

I reached his house in no time, but I was pretty much out of breath when I got there. I walked in the front door again, and went up the stairs to go look for James. He wasn't in his room, and his bathroom door was closed, so I guessed he was still in the there taking a shower. I didn't know what to do, so I went back downstairs, and walked outside. I sat down in one of his mom's lawn chairs. It was pretty hot and humid outside, but I always preferred the heat to the cold anyway.

Max's warm body brushed against my limp hand, offering himself to be scratched. I got up, and went to search for his toys. I found one of his squeaky toys laying on the lawn, and picked it up. He immediately got really excited, and began to bound across the lawn, awaiting the throw. I threw it as far as the Potter's back yard was long, and it came to a landing point right before the fence line. He ran after it, and grabbed it before he took off again. Now i saw what this was going to be like, he was going to make me chase him to get it back. I ran after him, and he ran away from me. We continued to run around the yard. I would get close to him, and almost get there, but he would bound away right before I got there making me slip and fall almost every time.

I finally got it after a long time of tries, and several falls to the ground. I was panting now, just like the dog, from exhaustion. I threw the toy far away from me, and rested my hands on my knees, bending down, and trying to recover some air in my lungs.

"He always liked you," said a voice from the kitchen door.

"Yeah," I agreed, expecting to see James on the porch.

I looked up, smiling broadly at the game I just ran, but my smile vanished, and was replaced my a blank stare. Sirius was standing on the porch looking down at me. He wasn't smiling, or laughing at the sight he just saw take place. He was just looking at me, probably as blankly as I was looking at him.

He then began to laugh, but it wasn't a humorous laugh, it was more like a fake laugh. One that didn't mean anything. it was just was there for show. "Sorry, to have bothered you" he mumbled. He turned back towards the door, and pushed it open.

I stood in shock on the lawn before I realized I wanted to talk to him, "Wait, Sirius," I said, running after him.

I got into the kitchen too late. I heard a loud pop sound, and saw Sirius' form disappear in front of me. I stared into the kitchen from in front of the door. I slid it closed behind me, and walked over to a bar stool to sit down. I was in more shock that Sirius actually went to the length to disappear so he didn't have to talk to me, than when he talked to me in the first place.

"Was Sirius in here?" asked James from the kitchen doorway. He must have seen me run in from before.

"Yeah," I said blankly.

"And he just disapparated," said James.

"That's what happened," I confirmed.

"Well that's the most mature thing I've ever heard of," said James. I could tell he was annoyed with Sirius and me constantly fighting or in these "I'm not talking to you" moments. I would be annoyed to if two of my best friends were always fighting.

I know it sounds bad, but we didn't used to be this complicated. We didn't always fight, or disappear to avoid one another. We used to talk about everything, we used to hang out almost every day, we used to write owls all the time, and we never used to have so much as one bit of drama in our lives.

I couldn't believe Sirius just disapparated like that. Where did he go anyway? DId he not hear me, or did he just not care to talk to me? James was right, it was pretty immature, but was I very mature myself? The answer is no. If I was mature, we would not be in this mess in the first place.

James mom walked in the kitchen at the moment, and greeted James and me. "Hey guys," she said.

"Hello," I said sadly.

"What's wrong honey?" asked Mrs. Potter. She could always tell when I was upset or in a bad mood easily. I guess many other people could tell. It wasn't as if I was that cryptic about it, but she had a knack for it all the same.

"Sirius," James answered for me.

"Oh," she said quietly, thinking to herself. "I know you probably don't want to hear this right now, but I'm going to tell you all the same." She smiled at me, before she continued to talk. "Don't waste your precious time on regretting the past, live for the moment right in front of you."

"Very true," chimed in James, he took a drink of a water bottle as he nodded in approval of his mom's advice.

I smiled for there benefit, and thanked James' mom.

Then she added, "Don't even waste your time on boys, they are stupid, immature, egotistical morons at this age, and are rather block headed too." At that she began to drink her tea she had made while talking to me.

"Thanks mom," James said.

"No problem honey," she smiled at him. "I hope I helped Ashton," she added.

I nodded in a thank you, while James mumbled something inaudible under his breath.

"We're leaving in a couple minutes for Diagon Alley okay?" She told James. "You're welcome to come with Ashton."

She walked out of the room, not waiting from an answer from me. She probably already guessed it.

"I love your mom," I told James.

"Good, that makes one of us," he said.

"James," I hit him on his shoulder sharply. "Don't ever say that again," I told him. "You're mom is a lovely woman, and you are lucky to have her."

"Yeah, okay," he said rubbing his arm reproachfully.

We left for Diagon Alley soon after Mrs. Potter drank her tea. Mr. Potter decided to join us on our way. Sirius was found in his room, upstairs by James, and he was coming. James probably left out the detail of myself coming with when he told him they were all going to Diagon Alley.

The plan was for us all to apparate together, and under strict rules that we would not go some other place that we desired rather than Diagon Alley. We were going to Diagon Alley, James mother had told us. James dad came in the kitchen, along with Sirius. James, his mom, and myself were already ready and waiting. Or at least, James' mom and I were, not so sure about James.

Sirius looked at me, probably wishing he could back out of the trip now that he realized that I was coming with. James gave him a look, and they began to communicate with a series of looks, stares, and shrugs. Dear God, how awkward could this get?

I apparated away on cue with the rest of the Potters and Sirius. I looked around, and sure enough, we were in Diagon Alley, one of my favorite places in the world. Only it wasn't as I remembered it when I was a kid or even last year. It had changed a lot in the timing of a year. More and more shops were getting boarded up, and less people than ever seemed to be out shopping. It was all rather depressing. All of us seemed rather quiet walking down the streets. Observing which shops we were thinking about going in, and which shops we would never go in again. Ollivanders was still up and running. The funny wand maker could be seen in the windows still selling his wands. A book store was still there. Not nearly as many books stores as I remember, but at least one made it threw. Madame Rosier's Robes were still there with her assistant, Isabel, which reminded me the reason I came along. I would go in their later. There were a few more stores open, but you couldn't hide how many were actually closed. There was a gaping hole in between each store now it seemed.

I followed the family where they needed to go, and watched them look for what they needed to buy. We were all rather quiet from the impact of how bad the Alley was taking the war. Each of us was finally understanding that it wasn't just an overnight thing, it was actually here to stay.

We went to Zaphora Book Store first, where James and Sirius started to search for the books on their Hogwarts list. I walked around the store looking at the various bookshelves, and searched the titles. Some of them were rather interesting, others were flat out boring. I noticed James' parents were doing the same thing as I was, looking at the the titles. Sirius and James were in a corner laughing at some book they had found. Immature was an understatement with those too.

James' mom found most of the books for them, as they were too side tracked to care about looking themselves. She brought them up to the cash register, and payed for them. Mr. Potter was still glancing around the titles and magazines as they rang up their stuff. I waited at the door for them to get done. James and Sirius decided to join me, Sirius walking a bit slower than James in the direction to me.

"Where to next?" I said, smiling trying to lighten the mood.

"Well, I think we should get the robe shopping out of the way," Mrs. Potter told us.

A total of three people made some sort of groaning noise or disapproval noise at that point. We acted like a bunch of first years that didn't want to take a shower when it came to trying on Madam Rosier's robes. Mr. Potter laughed at us, and grinned before he started the way to the shop.

Madam Rosier chose Sirius to go first in the line to try on. While she complained about the length of his hair, and told him how much she could make a difference in his appearance she abruptly took the robe material and stuck some needles in it to hold it up. James snickered at this, I just stood their smirking once and a while. Sirius just looked like he was in utter agony. He flinched every time she talked, and every time she stuck a new needle in. Finally she was done with sizing him, and set the fabric aside. She called me up next, and I trudged up to her sizing platform helplessly. I saw James laughing from the corner of my eye, and vowed he was going to get payback for this.

You would expect Madam Rosier to be a little more gentle on me, but she never was. She handled me like a a kindergartner handled their toys, roughly and just a tad abusive.

"You would be a much more pretty girl if you acted like one," she told me. "If you were my child, you would not slouch or walk the way you do."

I stood their, hoping her work would be done with soon so I didn't have to listen to it any longer.

"Good Merlin!" she exclaimed, "Look at those poor fingernails."

James, in the back of the room, looked a bit like he was having a fit he was laughing so hard.

Finally she was done with me, and it was James' turn. I got off the platform, smiling at James as he passed me. "Good luck," I told him.

He got onto the platform, and Madam Rosier roughly made him stand up straight as she thrust the fabric onto him.

"Don't you ever brush your hair?" she asked him rudely.

I began to laugh, clutching my stomach. Every time he came here he would never hear the end about how his hair stood up on ends, and never laid still. Honestly, it never got old to listen to her criticize it.

He was done in a few minutes, and Madam Rosier went to the back of her shop to "work wonders" with her wand. She would stitch them together with magic, and then give them to us.

James, Sirius, and I stood in awkward silence.

"Wow," James said.

"What?" I asked.

'Nothing," he said.

We stood in silence again. James mom was at the cash register now checking us out. I looked at the ceiling examining the wood beams above us. Sirius was staring at the wall in the far corner of the store with his hands in his back pockets. James just stood their watching the both of us.

James' mom walked over to us carrying two shopping bag full of the robes. She handed me one as I handed her the money I owed her.

"What did I miss?" she asked. She looked at the ceiling, and then across the room at the wall Sirius was looking at.

"Absolutely nothing," said James. His expression on his face was utter boredom. He turned around, and walked straight out of the store. I looked over to Sirius, wanting him to agree with me in the idea that we should probably stop acting so childish, at least for James' sake. He didn't make eye contact with me though, instead he was out the door after James. If I could be any more annoyed than I already was, I was. This was utter stupidity, and immaturity on Sirius' part. I know I'm not perfect, but at least I try to redeem myself.

I walked out the door after James' parents went through. Hopefully my temper wouldn't get the better of me at the moment, and I would manage to keep my cool. I found them in the quidditch store across the street. I walked in the door, and was immediately met by the sweet aroma of leather and wood. Quidditch was life at it's best. I knew at the end of the day, when I had nothing else, it would still be there for me. I glanced over towards Sirius and James, and found them arguing with each other in the corner of the store. I knew James must have had it with Sirius and me fighting, I felt bad, and I didn't know what to do. There really wasn't anything to do besides trying to talk to Sirius. I didn't know if I could talk to him, because I wasn't ready for any more rejection from him. I could not take that anymore.

I was in the broom section of the store. I found my broom's model easily and some others I wished I owned also. The stores version looked much better than mine. It was the one and only nimbus broom with the speed and strength of a bird of prey.

I glanced over towards the boys again, and found that they were not together anymore. Sirius was looking at the bludger bats, while James' was glancing over everything else. I examined my nimbus again, thinking to myself. How was I going to do this? I looked over to Sirius again, he was still standing in the beater's section. I realized then, it was now or never. I stood straight up, and walked over to him. He was still looking at the quidditch items, and he didn't realize I had made it over there.

"Sirius," I said softly.

He looked up, and his eyes found mine. I didn't understand it then, but I realized later that he wasn't enjoying himself. He didn't like what was going on between us any more than myself. I would have known that then if I took the time to notice.

"Hi," he said. His voice was heavy, as if he was out of breath.

"Could I talk to you for a minute," I asked. My voice cracked this time. I looked at the ground in order to regain some of my composure before I had a nervous break down.

His face took on an annoyed sort of look, and he looked behind him before he looked back at me. His lips were formed in and "I don't know," sort of way. I knew he was about to tell me that he really didn't want to talk to me.

"Look Sirius," I cut in before he could say anything. "I think you know that we are both acting a little bit immature here okay?"

I knew that he didn't want to hear it. I knew by the way he looked at me, and the way his face changed from a little annoyed to really ticked off. "Really Ashton?" he questioned me. I knew he was talking about the fact of immaturity here, but I really needed to get my point across.

I touched his arm, which I knew was a mistake the minute I did, but I'll I wanted to do was calm him down before he made a scene. "Siri-" I tried.

"-Ashton," he cut me off. "I really don't care what you have to say, okay!" he told me.

"Please, listen to me," I pleaded, my voice was cracked again. By now I knew people were starting to stare. I didn't even care though, my stance, which I was trying to keep up, was falling apart.

He shook his head angrily. "What do you possibly have to say to me?"

"That I'm sorry, and I hope you forgive me," I told him. My voice was cracking more than ever now, and I hoped he understood how sincere I was trying to be.

"You think sorry will fix everything Ashton?" he asked. He made a sort of laughing noise in the back of his throat, like he couldn't believe I seriously was apologizing.

"I knew it wouldn't, I just didn't want you to go forever not knowing how guilty I truly feel," I told him. I tried to find his eyes, but he kept turning away from me.

"Stop it!" he said. "You seriously think that being guilty will redeem yourself from what you did?"

"I'm Sorry," I whispered, looking at the ground.

"What did you really want to accomplish by telling me that," he asked. This time I found his eyes. I hated seeing him angry. He always looked so distraught, and his eyes were so unsettled. I wished I could help him. I wished I could have touched his face, and comforted him. I couldn't though. I was the pain that he was experiencing. All I could do was get out of his life for ever, and hopefully that would help him.

"I just wanted you to know that," I told him, trying to turn away from him.

"Whatever Ashton," he said, looking at me disgustedly. He looked at me like I was a piece of dirt that he could never wash away. Did he really hate me that much? It hurt so much to think that, but I knew it to be true.

He turned his back on me, and walked away. I felt like something was gone from me at that moment. He had taken part of me with him when he left, and I felt it. "I'm so sorry," I whispered to him as one tear slipped down my cheek.

Then I turned around too, and walked my separate way. I found Mrs. Potter's worried face. She most likely saw what happened, and wanted to help me get through it, but I didn't care. I wanted to get out of there as fast as possible. I grabbed my stuff from her, and shook my head trying to hold back the tears. I was not going to break down there. Mr. Potter and James watched me from afar. James new better than to try and help me, he knew me well enough to know that I wanted to be alone.

Once I walked out the store, and apparated away. I found myself in my room. There I dropped the bag I had brought from Diagon Alley, and fell to the floor. I wasn't a person who cried often. I couldn't help it this time. Sirius was my best friend. He meant more to me than any ex boyfriend usually meant to a girl. I didn't like the idea that he hated me. I didn't want to come to terms with never talking to him again. I wished we could fix everything. I wished I wasn't the stupid person I was last year. That was a total different me, and I wish I could take all of it back, but honestly was it better to love and lost or to never have loved at all?

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_Authors Note__**:**__Hope you liked this chapter(: I'm sorry you probably are all wondering why they are fighting, but time will tell if you just keep reading:D If you have any questions, criticism, or just want to tell me if you like it or not please leave a review. Thanks for reading my story. _

_-KateXXJohnston_


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